Clay People- Gender Identity, Social Media, and Reshaping Self

The Genderbread Person- an Introduction to Understanding Gender. Click image for edugraphic and printables.

Social media and the onset of digital mediums have rushed into our lives on a tidal wave of information and stimuli, offering new avenues of exploration and communication. It directly influences our identity and perception of self; affecting our concepts of gender and sexuality and in turn, the “roles” expected of us. We tow the line between what we are exposed to, how we think we are supposed to look and behave, with how we feel and see ourselves.

But social media also provides the ability to break out of these confines, to frame exactly how we want to be perceived, in a safer environment, where we can form our own image. In fact, according to researcher Debjani Roy, in a 2014 study on gender identity and social networks, the LGBT+ and non-gender conforming community have constructed their own spaces to explore and express themselves, safe spaces where who they are is not defined by who they used to be, let alone how they were born. In these spaces, they can learn about options they may have never heard of, and through the advice and experiences of others, they can begin to rebuild their truest self. In this “virtual” world, there exists a level of protection that doesn’t always exist in the physical one, and on these social platforms, for some, it offers an escape from reality to what may be the only place they have the freedom to be themselves.

The Gender Unicorn graphic by www.transstudent.org/gender

The internet is its own foreign land, one that can act as a sanctuary for people whose existence may be a hazard to their own wellbeing, literally offering a lifeline to those who cannot live their truths without the fear of reprisal, discrimination, or even physical harm. Despite its downside, trolling and harassment are prevalent, the internet provides an unfathomable range of possibilities. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, IMVU, Reddit, and so many others, allow the sharing of new ideas and concepts

IMVU, a virtual chat app, can be purchased here.

about sex, gender—their roles and expression—advocacy, and activism; spreading them throughout the country, the globe even, at rates far greater than previous decades; permeating our society. In 2014, while researching nonbinary identities, a sociologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook—Helana Darwin learned further about the significance of these communities and speaks that for some, “…their online community was the only support in their lives. They turned to the site to understand they aren’t alone.” Further emphasizing that these online social communities are just that, communities that provide sympathetic connections and support.

Ahomari Turner, who at the age of 27, discovered they were intersex, finally understood their constant feelings of alienation and the reason behind their numerous doctor visits and unexplained surgeries growing up; intersex people being unable to neatly fit into the limitations of a binary system because their bodies are neither. And it wasn’t until Turner finally via the internet, on YouTube, discovering an intersex activist—Pidgeon Pagonis, and learning the involuntary procedures they themselves were subjugated to—was Turner finally able to comprehend what happened to them as a child, and eventually about their own body.

Photo, courtesy of Alok Vaid-Menon and Harry's

Alok Vaid-Menon, a gifted public speaker and an extremely active Instagram user, who uses their social media outlets as an open-source pulpit, after receiving communications from people going through similar experiences stated, “…strangers can be people we feel more close to than our blood family…that paradox is what I do with my social media today.”

I’ve come to view social media, especially as it pertains to the non-gender conforming community, as a place where we can “move away from boxes”. It is a place to challenge our own biases and misinformation by not only exploring who we are but also opening ourselves up to understanding others. As Vaid-Menon also states, “technology is not an obstacle to intimacy—it is a conduit for it…it’s a type of intimacy we don’t even get in person.” Social media is one of the most influential mediums we have today, entertaining, influencing, providing, and some would argue—conditioning. It only makes sense that we would use these virtual spaces to explore ourselves as much as our surroundings in the hopes of reaching deeper external, and more importantly internal, understanding of ourselves.

Unlike in the United States, non-binary gender identities have existed as a part of numerous cultures and civilizations throughout history, and many believe we are simply playing catchup. We are all different, seeking to find our own sense of self and ways to express our personal truth. What it means to be a man or woman, whether we choose to conform as one or the other, to be both…or neither, is a question many are currently asking themselves, especially those who feel like strangers in their own body. But through the nature and vast size of the internet, there are potential places for all of us to find somewhere we belong, to reach out and find communities that fulfill our needs and help us to be ourselves; to exist in our own image, not one perceived by others or expected of us.